


Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.

by Kroolea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Deaf Character, Hurt/Comfort, hard of hearing character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea
Summary: "It's stupid, I know but I go to sleep every night wondering if this is the last day I'm going to hear my friends. I know one of these days it's going to happen."
Relationships: BB-8 & Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Leia Organa, Poe Dameron & Rey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. My friend and I noticed the other day that Poe is near a lot of explosions without ear protection. Enjoy!
> 
> Also this can be read as Rey/Finn/Poe but it doesn't have to be. I didn't write it as such but I couldn't care less how you read it.

There was a ringing that wouldn't stop. Poe was going to go crazy, his head was pounding and his hands trembled. BB-8 chirped in concern at his feet, the noise from the droid only added to the noise in his head. Poe nodded.

"I'm fine, buddy. My head just hurts." He ground out. The droid made another worried sound. Poe smiled slightly and patted the orange droids head. "No. I'll be fine. It's okay, buddy. Go find Rey or Finn." BB-8 trilled at the mention of his new friends. He rolled away. Poe sat down and rubbed his temples. After a few minutes he went to his quarters, maybe sleep would help.

When he woke up the ringing was gone. He chalked it up to sleep deprivation.

\-----

The next time he noticed something was wrong was about a week later. Rey approached him when he was working on his x-wing. Behind her BB-8 trailed somewhat reluctantly, as if he were ashamed. Her brow was furrowed, usually meaning she was angry and was getting ready to yell at him. He set his tools down.

"Why have you been ignoring BB-8?" Her voice was cold and clipped. He frowned.

"I haven't been ignoring him." He grunted, he faced her, she was visibly upset.

"He said you have! Seriously who just ignores their droid?" She huffed. Her chin jutted out in defiance. He glanced at the droid beside the Jedi. His heart sank when the droid nod.

"Shit, I'm sorry, buddy." Poe got on the droid's height. "I've been so busy and tired." He apologized, BB-8 looked thrilled and rolled around happily. Rey still looked upset. With the promise of an oil bath the droid wasn't paying attention to the two humans.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged her hand off.

"Something's wrong. I know you wouldn't just ignore BB-8." Her voice is full of concern. He glared at her.

"I'm fine. I haven't been sleeping well." It's the truth but it probably didn't account for ignoring his droid. Rey took the bait.

"Get some sleep."

\-----

He went to Doctor Kalonia after the incident with BB-8. She nodded and listened to his symptoms. When she was finished checking his ears she frowned. She told him that it was his hearing. It was slowly going. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. The best being that the wad only partial deafness. The worst that he would be completely deaf in mere months.

Nononono. It couldn't be happening not to him. He was only 31 for force sake.

She explained that it was the constant explosions and battles. That being bombed too many times and was slowly taking away one of his senses.

He hated that the First Order was taking yet another thing away from him.

\-----

He was so angry at it all. Through the months he kept this knowledge to himself, he didn't even tell Finn, Rey, or BB-8, his closest friends. Just thinking of telling them had him ready to punch a wall.

Leia cornered him after a briefing.

"What's wrong with you, Dameron?" She asked, a concerned, motherly look on her face replaced her usually firm appearance.

"Nothing, General. I'm just tired." His excuse sounded weak even to himself.

"You were struggling in that meeting, I could see it on your face. What's wrong?" She repeated her original question. He ran a tired hand through his messy hair.

"I'm just tired." He attempted to reassure her. She shook her head.

"Poe, I've known you since you were a newborn. You can't lie to me."

That was true. If he learned on thing from being under her lead it was that she was very hard to lie to.

He took a deep breath. It was no use lying, he might as well tell her.

"My hearing is going, too many explosions. I couldn't hear from where I was standing in the briefing." To his shock and horror tears began stinging his eyes. _Get it together, Poe._ He mentally berated himself.

Leia's face softened. "Oh, Poe." She pulled him into a quick hug, with that his defences fell and he despite himself he silently began to cry. She rubbed his back, like his own mother used to do when he came home with a scraped knee. Only this time bacta and bandages wouldn't help.

When he calmed down he quickly pulled away and took a breath. "I'm sorry, General. I-"

"Dameron." Leia's tone was sharp. The commander he was used to. He stood up straighter. A small smile crossed her face.

"Go get some rest. And never apologize for something like that again." She grumbled. He gave her the usual cocky smile. 

"Of course, General." He began to walk towards the men's quarters.

"And Poe?" She called from the end of the hall.

"Yeah?"

"Tell your friends. They only want the best for you." She said firmly. He nodded before walking away.

\-----

Poe didn't tell his friends, not for a long while. By the time he was ready to tell them he was noticing a significant decrease in hearing. He couldn't hear far away noises, he had to program BB-8 to be louder, he sometimes had to tell someone to speak up if there was a large crowd around them. Leia occasionally checked in on him and asked if he had told Finn and Rey. But eventually the least of her growing list of worries was if he could still hear.

It wasn't until Finn commented on how loud BB-8 seemed that Poe decided to tell him what was happening.

"Listen, Finn." He froze, why was he so nervous, it wasn't that big of a deal, get it together. Dameron.

"I'm listening." Finn said dryly, his eyes full of concern the same way Leia's were.

"I'm going deaf." The words left his mouth before he think. Finn looked confused.

"How? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Does Rey know? Does Leia know?" His questions were endless but Finn managed to stop before he overwhelmed Poe.

Poe laughed bitterly. "Too many explosions happened near me. Turns out when I thought I walked away unhurt, those noises were slowly ruining my hearing." He said, Finn seemed to understand the pitiful explanation. Poe continued. "Leia and you are the only ones who know. Hell, I haven't even told BB-8 yet.

He rubbed a hand over his face. A nervous habit of his.

Finn pulled him into a hug. This time Poe didn't cry, most of his tears were cried into his pillow where no one could see them.

When Finn let go Poe wrapped his arm around the other man's shoulder. "Don't tell Rey. I'm going to tell her sometime." The before it's too late died on his lips.

Finn smiled at him thinly. "Alright. If you need anything, I'm here, man." He assured him. Poe nodded.

"Thanks." He said sincerely. Finn nodded.

\-----

They were repairing the Falcon in silence but Rey decided to talk to him after a while. He was a ways away from here and his back was toward her, hindering his hearing greatly. 

"You're gonna have to speak up." He said absent-mindedly. Instantly regretting his choice of words as Rey's face darkened.

"I'm practically yelling already!" She retorted. He panicked and before he could think his temper took over. He spun around on one heel to look at her.

"Well obviously your yelling and my yelling are different!" He snapped, flinging down his tools. She flung her hands in the air.

"No need to yell at me about it! I'm sorry you aren't paying attention." She grumbled, turning around to continue working. When he didn't reply instantly with a snarky comeback she glanced at him.

He slowly sat on the group and continued working. This was unusual, especially for him, because he hated losing arguments.

"Are you okay?" She asked at last, pretending she didn't hear the sniff or see him quickly wipe his eyes.

"I'm great." He said quickly. She came over to where he was.

"You were crying." She said. He huffed.

"It wasn't crying, it was more being teary-eyed." He complained. She smiled slightly.

"You're teary-eyed." She tried again. He laughed.

"Have you ever felt so helpless that you wanted to just give up?" He asked, she nodded.

"Almost everyday on Jakku." She answered, too quickly. He frowned.

"Remember when BB-8 told you I was ignoring him?"

"Yeah. I wanted to slap you senseless." She recalled. He rolled his eyes.

"Aren't you Jedi supposed to be peaceful or whatever?" He teased, she elbowed him.

"I'm ignoring that. And what about BB-8?"

"I'm losing my hearing. I've been near explosions and blasts for the last nine years. I wasn't purposely ignoring him. I couldn't hear him." He said, letting out a breath. She was silent.

"I'm sorry." She said at last, her eyes had unshed tears in them.

"Please don't cry. I've gotten used to the fact that I'm going to lose it."

She sniffled. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, he frowned. 

"I'm sorry, I really meant to. I just never did."

Despite her being upset she understood. Somethings were so upsetting that telling someone only made it worse.

"It's stupid, I know but I go to sleep every night wondering if this is the last day I'm going to hear my friends. I know one of these days it's going to happen." He choked out. He threw his tool into the wall, it clattered on the ground. She put a hand on his to calm him.

"Well, I guess we have a new adventure." She said slowly.

"What's that?" He looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Learning sign language." She gave him a small smile.

\-----

Learning sign language was hard. Much harder than Poe ever expected. But they managed, now and then someone would catch one of the three teasing each other from across the room.

The day came that Poe lost all of his hearing. It was a hard day, for all of them, Poe retreated and didn't come out for hours. When he worked up the guts he came out. Finn and Rey both embraced him as he cried the tears he had been holding in for so long.

BB-8 still trailed behind him despite their language borders. Sometimes when the two of them were alone Poe would ramble out loud, not even knowing if his words made sense but the droid seemed happy so he was happy too.


End file.
